From then on, around 5 p.m. we contractions become very intense. Meanwhile, the bathtub continues to fill up, I catch the contractions on the cabinet in the living room, alternating with the ball. They are very intense contractions and I really have to focus and try to stay calm. The bath is not yet full and is still too hot, when it finally reaches 38 degrees, at 5:15 p.m. I can get in, but it feels so bloody hot that my feet can barely get in. I sit on the edge and then with my buttocks on the seat. When Maaike arrives, she immediately feels in the bath and indicates that it is very hot, probably the bath thermometer is incorrect. Immediately we add cold water. This gives relief, because I have a bright red head and the bath is not really pleasant so hot. With a dishcloth I cool my forehead and after a while I can really get into it. With my arms crossed over the tub, I puff away the contractions. Then I lie down in the tub and clamp down on the side. Thomas sits behind me (not in the bathtub), Maaike on the side, I have her hand firmly. At some point, I get pushy. Maaike asks Thomas to sit at the front of the bathtub so he can touch the baby later. But I insist that he stay behind me, to which she replies that I will then handle the baby myself later. Maaike meanwhile sat down at the front of the tub and Marlinka (partus assistant) took over her spot. I squeeze her hands very hard during contractions. Both Maaike and Marlinka address me, you can do it, you’re doing well, to which I say; I can’t do any more, to which Maaike again says; you can do it, to which I reply; I can! This is so nice, this mental support I so need right now. When I get urges to push, it is quite difficult to get the right position. I don’t want to raise my legs, because I’m thinking about my pregnancy class where you are supposed to keep your knees together precisely. Only this way I don’t manage to apply force and feel like I have to poop. But that’s precisely where I have to push. After messing around for a while, I think, she has to get out now. At 6 p.m. I start actively pushing. Throughout childbirth, I consciously kept in touch with my daughter. I quiet her in my mind, speak sweet words to her and let her know that we are doing this together. I literally think her down. I feel that the pressing should not take too long, because I am tired. With all my strength I press her down. And then at 6:13 p.m. she is there, I see her would slip out of me and grab her immediately. Instinctively, I immediately put her on my chest and then immediately realize that I cannot hold her back underwater. I express that too and yes that’s right, now she can’t go underwater. Quickly the midwife puts cloths over them and so Merel comes into the world very quietly. After lying in the bath for a while, I get out of the bath at 6:20 p.m. The umbilical cord is just still attached and the placenta is still in my belly. We shift to the mattress on the floor, where I have plenty of time to cuddle with my daughter. What a special moment, her bright open eyes, her cool little body. Then Maaike asks what her name is. We were still hesitating between three names, but when I look at her it is clear; Merel, I say what with a slight question mark to Thomas. Yes, he nods indeed I thought so too, Merel. Merel seeks my breast on her own, what a beautiful moment! And drinks a pretty powerful one at that. Pretty soon, at 6:30 p.m. the placenta arrives, a little push and he is there. I do not experience this as unpleasant at all; he is actually there like that. The placenta goes into a tub, the umbilical cord just stays attached still, as I like it.